Breaking: Caitlin Clark Explains That White Privilege Feels Weirdly Like Getting Beat Up By Giant Black Lesbians

WNBA player Caitlin Clark explained in an interview with TIME that she has been the beneficiary of white privilege, which strangely feels a lot like getting the crap kicked out of her by giant black lesbians.

Though she admitted that “white privilege” was a bit of a nebulous term, Clark explained that she seemed to most often experience it as getting punched in the face or elbowed in the stomach.

“The fact is, I clearly have experienced white privilege. No one else gets beat up routinely on national television by enormous black lesbians,” explained Clark. “That’s obviously a privilege that I have, being white. I recognize that this league was built by these gargantuan lesbians, and we must honor all the work they do punching me because of my skin color.”

Though sociologists stated that white privilege could manifest in many forms, they agreed that sometimes it does feel like getting shoved to the floor on a basketball court. “It feels different to different people,” explain sociology professor Dr. Ray Adams. “For some, it may be that you do not have to worry about security at a store eyeing you suspiciously. For some, it’s being wrestled to the ground and having your eyes poked by a 200-pound black lesbian. It’s highly variable.”

At publishing time, the WNBA had reported excellent progress in its ten-step plan to becoming irrelevant again.

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